Thursday, July 5, 2012

Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Jane Jameson's having a bad day. She gets fired from her job as a librarian. She doesn't even get a severance check, just a $25 gift certificate to a local pub. There, she meets the gorgeous and mysterious Gabriel. Her evening starts looking up, but as she drives home (alone) her car breaks down.

Who should come by just then? Gabriel? Nope. It's a drunk redneck hunter who mistakes her for a deer and shoots her.

Lucky for her, Gabriel does come by shortly after, draining her blood and replacing it with his own to save her "life".

Facing her new vampire un-life, she must now navigate the challenges of the newly undead, such as where to find Faux Type O and 500 SPF sunblock, and get a job so she doesn't loose her historical family home, River Oaks.

Meanwhile she must repair her friendship with her best friend Zeb (who she almost tried to snack on) and she's in the closet (or is that "in the coffin"?) with her family. And what a family!

Big, sister Jenny is out to take River Oaks away from her (it was willed to Jane by her beloved Aunt Jettie) and to steal any family heirlooms that aren't nailed down. Nosy and overbearing Mama is trying to force-feed her with pot pies, and wants her to 1) get married already and 2) come to more family gatherings, not realizing that Jane is now allergic to solid food and the presence of her grasping sister. Grandma Ruthie, the town's Black Widow is siding with Jenny and creating general havoc; while her Aunt Jettie, is now haunting her house in ghost form and spooning on Jane's couch with Grandma Ruthie's deceased Husband Number Four.

Zeb is in freakout mode and joins the Family and Friends of the Undead (FFOTU) where he meets the gorgeous Jolene, a werewolf. Now on top of everything else, Jane has to contend with the change in her relationship with her BFF from childhood as a new lady begins to take priority in his life.

Then there's her sexy sire Gabriel, and their tempestuous romance, which is threatened by a new friendship with another vampire, the flirtatious and completely inappropriate Dick Cheney--who just happens to be Gabriel's childhood rival.

As if all this wasn't enough for Jane to contend with, now someone's framing her for a series of fires and murders, and the local vampire Council wants it explained before they decide to subject her to a Trial that includes dangerous, nasty things like sunlight and silver.

I tore through this book in a day or two's time. Jane is snarky and hysterically funny. Her adventures make a brilliant read. My hubby got tired of me interrupting his research by howling with laughter and insisting on reading him quotes from the book.

Molly Harper is an absolutely brilliant writer. The plot lines are tangled and ludicrous but believable at the same time. I've read quite a few vampire novels that were "meh". This isn't one of them!

Of course I immediately went out and got the sequel to Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs, Nice Girls Don't DateDead Men.

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