Killing The Non-Smoking Guns

This week I'm revising my novel and feel almost ready to send it out in search of a publisher.

So imagine how silly I feel when I find I've written an entire long paragraph about a woodstove.

Now this post could almost have been entitled "Kill Your Babies" because that's what I had, a lyrical and long description of a woodstove, based on, yes, an antique parlor stove that I once owned and loved. I adored the woodstove. I adored the description.

The problem here is that no matter how beautiful the woodstove was, and no matter how driving my description might have been...

The woodstove had absolutely no point in the plot whatsoever. That's right. It didn't perform any function. Nobody got burned on it, nobody touched it, nobody gained any realizations from fondling its lovely cast iron exterior. Well okay, it DID dry my protagonist's clothes.

It didn't even belong to a major character. The very minor characters who owned it were there for only one chapter, just serving as a safe place and a way to get my protagonist back to civilization.

So why was I waxing gloriously on about it? Oh damn, it hurt my heart, but I clipped the long paragraph the heck out and threw it away. Maybe I can use it someday in another book where it WILL be pertinent.

At the same time, I had noticed (see my previous post, Too Much Tea - Vary Your Scenes) that a lot of my scenes were involving cooking and mealtimes. Okay, I'm a pretty dedicated cook and foodie, so maybe that's normal, but I was determined to have some of my characters do something OTHER than cook or eat food in the revision.

Late at night, having shut off my computer, I came up with an IDEA. Rather than having a particular scene happen at the breakfast table, I'd put my characters in the living room. Firebuck (a secondary character) would be cleaning his rifle in case the evil faeries showed up. To contrast that, Cath (another secondary character) would be potting some flowers that had already shown up on the porch in a previous description. Falling asleep, I loved the juxtaposition of war and peace and the fact that it would get me away from the "food scenes".

So what was wrong? Well in an earlier-written (but occurring later in the story) scene, Firebuck does tote his rifle around for a bit. Firebuck doesn't use a gun in the end of the novel. I realized that if I added the gun-cleaning scene, readers would THINK it was a clue and be disappointed in the end when they found out it wasn't. Especially since I would now have TWO scenes with the gun in it. Guns don't work terribly well on evil faeries. Just an FYI.

Ouch. So there go my guns and woodstoves. Is my novel better for it? Definitely.

Unless you intend for them to be Red Herrings, get rid of your extraneous plot items. If you show an item and wax glorious about it, the reader will expect you to include it in the resolution of your story. If the item is a weapon, such as a gun, garotte or knife, all the more reason why your reader will expect it to show up at the end and be useful. If not, you risk the possibility of reader confusion and disgust.

Lack of Red Herrings - What I Learned from Nancy Drew

PLEASE NOTE: No, I don't hate Nancy Drew. In fact, she's one of my favorite childhood heroines. That said, the Nancy Drew books are an excellent example of writing that could use improvement. If we want to be good writers, we have to read a lot and face up to when we or others (even our icons) are less than excellent. For a detailed explanation of my feelings on this writing series, go here.

SPOILER ALERT! I'll be discussing the plots of The Hidden Staircase, The Bungalow Mystery and The Mystery at Lilac Inn.

One of the joys of reading a mystery is trying to outgess the author. "Red herrings" are the intentional planting of information which casts suspicion on non-guilty parties and keeps the reader guessing, hopefully until the last minute.

Incidentally, for you history buffs, the phrase "red herring" seems to originally comes from the practice of using a kipper to distract tracking dogs from a scent that the handlers didn't want them to follow. It was coined into print by journalist William Cobbett in 1807. Of course that may be a red herring in itself.


Back to Nancy Drew, in these stories there are no red herrings. If anything happens in the story you can absolutely bet that its related to the plot. By the time I was two or three chapters into The Hidden Staircase, I was positive that the threatening visit by Nathan Gombet was directly related to the haunting of the Turnbull sisters' house.

In The Bungalow Mystery, the plot involves Laura Pendleton, a young girl who is orphaned, and who dislikes her new guardians. Just before Nancy goes to meet with Laura, we're introduced to an unpleasant woman, and we know instantly that this is going to be Mrs. Aborn, the guardian's wife. Soon thereafter, the woman asks Laura to give her the jewels that Laura inherited and its  obvious that the guardians are running some sort of a scam and possibly not who they say they are.

Of the six books I'm discussing, only the Mystery at Lilac Inn breaks this mold, throwing some suspicion on a character who isn't the central villain of the plot. Of course despite the fact that this person isn't the jewel thief, they are blackmailing one of the other characters.

Granted, throwing in a few leads which don't pan out or adding a few other mildly suspicious characters who turn out not to be the culprits would lengthen the books, but it would have gone a long way toward keeping the reader guessing.

An example from a modern mystery, in A is for Alibi, by Sue Grafton, we're introduced to a raft of characters who at one time or another fall under detective Kinsey Millhone's suspicion. Every one of them acts shady at some point, and some of them actually are.

In your own stories, especially if you're writing a mystery, try to include a few other characters who are acting suspicious. Remember that everyone has their own secrets, whether they're the murderer or not, and sometimes they don't want their personal business discussed.






The What I Learned from Nancy Drew Writing Series:
Intro to What I Learned from Nancy Drew
Part 1: Contrived Beginnings
Part 2: Lack of Red Herrings
Part 3: See Through Bad Guys
Part 4: Undescribed Characters
Part 5: Too Many Characters at Once
Part 6: Adverb Abuse 
Part 7: Unnecessary Scenes

Nancy Drew Mystery Stories
Nancy Drew Games