Ladies Who Critique

I just joined LadiesWhoCritique.com an online site to help you find a critique partner.

Living out here in the woods has been challenging especially since I haven't yet found a community of writers here to share with.

The site is free and seems friendly, so I'm looking forward to meeting some folks.

Will keep you all updated!

Too Much Tea - Vary Your Scenes

I was reading this book review on Kat Loves Books where the protagonist spent most of her time drinking tea. It seems like every other action she took was drinking tea. (Once or twice she had wine instead.)

It made me go back and look at my manuscript and wonder if my characters are cooking and eating too much. In Chapter One my protagonist is cooking dinner, and there are a LOT of other scenes where the characters make or eat food. Now I happen to adore cooking, and I'm a Cancer (we tend to have a thing about food) so that might have something to do with it.

I also have places where my characters feed chickens,  a car chase, several walks in the woods (one of which lasts for three days),  another chase scene, a few scenes at the high school and making a Show-and-Tell project (it's a YA) several rituals cast (they're witches), doing the laundry, a manicure and other things. However my characters do spend a lot of time hanging out in the kitchen, making food and trying to figure out what to do next.

In my defense, my characters are in hiding, and there's not a lot for them to do EXCEPT hide and try to figure out what to do. Going outdoors invariably gets them into trouble. I've attempted to give them non-food activities, and I hope I've balanced it well.

Exercise:

Look over your story and make a note of the major activity your characters are involved in. Don't focus on what's happening between the characters or with the plot, just list the background activity they're doing while the scene is happening.

For instance your list might read:

Reading the newspaper and drinking tea
Riding on the bus
Going to a restaurant
Taking a bath
Playing poker
Going to a bar
Jogging
Breaking into a house
Eating breakfast

If there's no major plot/character action, then for the purpose of this exercise it doesn't count. If you summarize that your character drives home from work, takes a shower, goes out to dinner and then goes to a bar, but the only action that happens is when your character is at the bar, then the drive, the shower and the dinner don't count on your list.

Look for places where you're repeating the same background action and see if you can find a way to vary it.

What if your character leads a rather mundane and repetitive life? Let's say our character, Edna is a middle aged housewife and keeping her house clean is her main goal in life. No doubt you'll have many scenes where she is cleaning or dusting or doing the laundry.

But why not also have her:

Go shopping.
Deal with the door-to-door salesman.
Take a walk down the street and notice the general condition and cleanliness of her neighbor's houses.
Go to church (assuming she's religious).
Get a flat tire.
Weed the garden (that might be part of house cleaning, but it does get her outside).
Attend a bake sale.

For other ideas on changing up the background action, check out Go Somewhere Strange

Back Finally

It's hard to believe it's been almost a year since I've posted. Isn't that a mess?

The good news is that between burgeoning gardens, broken computers, escaped yaks and rescued pit bulls (yes really) I've finally got my ms to the point where I feel ready to send it to a publisher or agent.

I've been working hard, and sometimes the lesson is that you need to cut down your areas of focus and just WRITE!

AFK for the Tsunami

I know I was supposed to post about vain characters today. My apologies, I spent the day with my eyes glued to the TV.

More about my feelings on that here.

I'll try to write something about writing tomorrow. Meanwhile my love and heartfelt wishes to all involved.

Character Tag Clutter

Trying to come up with a theme for today's post, I asked a friend what was notable about the last book she read.

"I'm reading one of the books in a series," she said, "it's a long series and in the current book the protagonist is listing her heroic achievements. She's vain. It gets annoying."

I pressed her on the issue. My buddy gave a sigh. "Well the protagonist says, 'hello I am a *insert vocation*, I am a *insert character's paying job*, the girlfriend of a *insert something about the BF in question*, the leader of a *insert group*, part of a *insert second group* that is super powerful because I am an uber powerful untaught *insert vocation* who doesn't know how to control my shit.' "

I'd read most of the series in question (and enjoyed it) and although I didn't exactly agree that the character was vain I got where my girlfriend was coming from. I've left out the specifics about the character as I don't want to point fingers, and more importantly it's a situation that any series author should think about.

So lets handle the easy question first.

Character Tags

In any long term series, the character is going to have a lot of "tags" amongst their luggage. These can come in the forms of vocations (ex-cop, detective, artist, janitor), recurring friends and cohorts, groups the protagonist belongs to, titles the character was given, mannerisms (favorite drinks, always wearing a rumpled coat) and more.

For the first several Nancy Drew mysteries (forgive me, I've been on a Nancy Drew kick lately) every single person she solved a mystery for gave her a memento, and of course she had to show them off in the next book. After three or four books it got so cumbersome that the authors left that off. (Or maybe I read newer versions where the editors cut those lines.)

The problem comes when the author feels the need to trot out every single accomplishment.

Now in case your reader starts somewhere in the middle of your series, you want to let them know a little about your character. But if a reader has read your entire series, a huge chunk of exposition on your protagonist's past exploits will send them to sleep, or as in the case of my friend, set them to ranting. So how do you balance this?


Decide on your Core Tags

Kinsey Milhone (Sue Grafton) cuts her hair with nail scissors, jogs regularly, has a bad attitude toward relationships and an all purpose black dress that never needs ironing. She eats at Rosie's Restaurant, owned by an overbearing Hungarian woman and lives in a remodeled garage owned by a dashing 80-something gent who cooks, bakes and writes crossword puzzles.

Matt Scudder (Lawrence Block) is an ex-cop who mistakenly killed a kid in a shootout, used to be (in the first books) a drunk and now goes to several AA meetings a day. He works "under the table" and won't get a detective license. He's divorced. He likes to read the newspapers.

Bernie Rhodenbarr (also Lawrence Block) is a burglar who owns a bookstore, and is in turn, owned by Raffles the cat. He hangs out with a lesbian named Caroline who owns a pet parlor. They take turns having lunch at each other's business, and usually have drinks together after work - unless Bernie is working - Bernie never drinks before a robbery.

Inspector Thomas Pitt (Anne Perry) speaks like an aristocrat (he was the gameskeeper's son and schooled alongside the lord's son) but dresses like a slob, despite the best efforts of his wife Charlotte, who keeps his home cozy and helps him solve mysteries. He keeps an odd assortment of items (string, small toys, loose change, handkerchiefs, and more) in his pockets, and it stretches his coat out of shape. He's usually called to cases involving the gentry. Charlotte has several aristocratic relatives who get involved in the mysteries. They have two children, two cats and a maid named Gracie who's also been getting involved in the mysteries of late.

I didn't have to look up a single thing to make this list because these are the character tags that persist through each of these series. (Unless there's a new sequel I haven't read yet).

I'll call these "Core Tags" as they form the central quirks and tags that describe the character.

Decide on a few tags you want to use in every book (you may gain a few more Core Tags as your character grows).

And with the rest...

Limit How Many Tags You Use


You don't need to give the reader every detail of your protagonist's history right away or all the time. After all, you want them to read your other books, right? So give a few details from the past or who they are now (because of the experiences they had in previous books) and save mention of some other tags for the next book.

In Book Two, you might make the sister (briefly mentioned in Book One) a major character who gets the protagonist involved with the latest adventure.

In Book Three you might give a brief mention, "I'd spent the last month visiting with my sister and now..." and then have another character show up that wasn't connected with Books One or Two.

In Book Four you might bring in a minor character from Book Three as a romantic lead, and carry that relationship all the way through to Book Seven, then have them break up and have the romantic lead return in Book Eleven.

The same principle goes for any non-core tags from previous novels in your series, not just recurring characters. For example in Book Five you might say, "I hadn't been in this neighborhood in several months, and the last time I'd been dressed as a harlequin and carrying a broadsword." (Referring to something that happened in Book Two.)

Spread Tags Out and Use Them When They're Appropriate

My friend is correct that this particular author has a habit of giving chunks of exposition about the characters ranks, titles, jobs, etc. Often - even USUALLY - in the first page of the story. I'm sure that one of the reasons the author does it is that this character's titles and jobs are funny and a bit shocking.

Remember that you have a whole book to pull out your Core Tags as well as the tags you want to carry over from the previous books.

Begin with a gripping lead that pulls your reader in, and use your tags when they're appropriate.

We don't need to know that Kinsey Millhone prefers white wine until someone offers her a drink. We don't need to see her all-purpose black dress until the plot calls on her to go somewhere she can't wear blue jeans. Then she can pull it out of the backseat of her VW, slip it on and remark on how durable it is. We don't hear about her jogging until she gets up in the morning and drags on her sneakers on, or decides to skip the jog because she's too beat up.

Captain Kirk doesn't start Star Trek by carrying on about how Spock thinks in terms of "logical" and "not logical." But somewhere in nearly every episode, the plot will give Spock an excuse to pull out his classic tag-line.

Write Softly and Carry a Big Tag

There's no need to announce your tags. You don't have to point, wave and shout, "Hey, here's one of my protagonist's tags."

If in chapter two, Bernie goes into a bar and orders Perrier, the seasoned reader of "Mrs. Rhodenbarr's boy" will say, "Uh oh! Bernie's not drinking - he must have a job tonight!" It might take a few paragraphs before Block mentions that Bernie abstains before robberies. In fact, savvy writer that he is, he often waits a few pages or even until the next scene. Meanwhile the reader gets to feel warm and fuzzy because they know something.

The new reader might not pick up on the fact that you're using a tag this time, but the next time they read one of your books, they'll notice and recognize it.

The second time I read a Pitt novel and was told about Thomas's bulging pockets, I said, "Oh yeah, he's always like that, isn't he? When Aunt Vespacia showed up for the second time, I was thrilled. "This will be good, she's a hoot." Within a book or two I was hoping the characters would find an excuse to go visit her.


When I started this post I'd planned to address the vanity issue. Then I realized that the way the author showed her tags was a large part of my buddy's problem. I'll get to the vanity issue tomorrow.

Make Your Words Work - Indispensable Books For Writers

If I had to choose just one book that would help improve my writing, Make Your Words Work: Proven Techniques for Effective Writing for Fiction and Nonfiction by Gary Provost would probably be it.

What does Provost mean by his title?

"By writing that works, I mean writing that does the job it's supposed to do, whether that job is to inform, entertain, anger or instruct. Writing does not work if it only entertains when it is supposed to instruct. It does not work if it only angers when it is supposed to educate. Whether a piece of writing has been put together to convey factual information or to create images in a story, it should be judged not on good grammar or adherence to the rules of composition, (both of which are tools, not goals),  but on how well it does its job. Does it  work? Does this word reveal my character's feeling? Does this sentence convey the popularity of stock car racing? Does this paragraph communicate the feeling of despair these refugees have?"

 Make Your Words Work is down to earth from page 1. "Can Writing Be Taught?" he asks. "No," he says, "throw this book away." Provost's writing is conversational, easy to understand and witty. His examples are clearly illustrated and  entertaining as well as instructional. The book is broken up into workable chunks with exercises to solidify the concepts in your brain.

Not only does he cover the "usual suspects" of dialogue, description, viewpoint, pace and characterization, he talks about some of the unsung heroes of writing--things like music, unity, credibility, subtlety, tension, proportion and form.

Some of my favorite sections include, "Putting Description in Motion," "Use Strong Verbs," the entire chapter on Tension and...oh heck, the whole darn book. I like to use this book as a checklist when I edit my work, "am I varying the construction of my sentences? Can I milk the dialogue some more? Do I need to reorganize for better unity? Are my verbs pulling their weight?"

Provost teaches you how to turn your words into willing employees who make your writing clearer, more precise, more fun to read--and publishable! This book will make your words not just grip your readers, but pull them into an embrace and lead them on a tango across your pages.

The Scrapbook - Get In Touch With Your Characters

This is an exercise designed to help you get in touch with your characters. It might even give you fodder for some new scenes. Try it, play with it, have fun!

Nowadays they have whole aisles in the craft stores devoted to scrapbooking, and some folks have turned this from a hobby to an artform.

When I was a kid, it was just a blank album that I could stick mementos in. I was probably 10 or 14 when I stopped keeping mine up. I remember that I had a napkin and invitation from a wedding where I was a flower girl, some autumn leaves pressed in wax paper, birthday cards, lyrics from a girl scout rally, a piece of cardiograph tape from my heart operation, some drawings I'd done, a copy of my first (abysmal) short story, a few A+ papers from school,  a couple of my best report cards and some photos from our family vacation in Colorado.

What's in your charater's srapbook?

Take note of the general condition of the scrapbook. Is it kept together with loving and painstaking effort? Are photos carefully pegged in with beautiful borders and caligraphed descriptions of each item? Or is it more like mine was, a loose collection of junk thrown in between the pages? Sometimes they got taped in, more often not. Was it rescued from a fire or flood? Burned on purpose, then pulled from the flames?

Does your character maintain it herself? Or is it a gift from someone in his family? If so, why is that person taking the effort? How does your character feel about that?

Is the scrapbook dedicated to a specific time or event in your character's life? Their junior year in high school? Their first year in college? The year they had a major operation? The summer they spent at camp? The year they won the 4H with a giant pumpkin?

Does it have a specific subject, such as their sports career? Their courtship and wedding? Their rise in their law career?

Is it dedicated to a specific person? A parent who left? A grandparent or a child who died? A child who is now grown? A beloved dog or horse?

Does your character have one scrapbook? Three? One for each year of their life? One for each major event?

Where does your character keep her scrapbook? Is it prominently displayed on his coffee table? In an old trunk in the attic? In some junk boxes in the closet that she hasn't bothered to unpack yet? Under the bed covered with dustbunnies?

Some characters will refuse to keep an actual scrapbook. Maybe he's got a drawer in his toolbox that he fills with mementos. She might keep a file folder, or even an entire file cabinet drawer. Or a tiny drawer in her jewelry box. Or a junk drawer in the kitchen. The mementos might be on display in a china cabinet, a set of artful shadowboxes on the wall, or maybe her refrigerator door acts as her scrapbook.

If your character is on the move a lot, their "scrapbook" might consist of just one or two items in their wallet, or a photo or birthday card--or divorce papers?--kept in their front pocket.

How often does your character look at his scrapbook? All the time? Almost never? Does he look over it with his children every night? Does she find it, forgotten on a shelf while she's packing?

Exercise:

Make a list of 10 items in your character's scrapbook. If you're ambitious, make the list 20 or 50 items.

Pick one of those items and write a scene involving that memento. You can set the scene in the now, and have him get angry and tear the item up. Or have her place it tearfully back into the scrapbook. Or write it as a flashback, and show us the scene that makes this item important.

Try it with a couple more items.

You might not use these scene in your final story. That's fine. This is just an exercise to help you know your character better. Or you may find that the scene becomes so strong and integral to telling your character's story that you leave it in.

Have fun and happy scrapbooking!